An Entirely Different Perspective

Nearly 4 months ago, I was sitting at Gate 213 in the Istanbul airport writing in my journal, desperately trying to feel better about moving to Georgia. At one point, I had to stop writing because I was getting teary-eyed in front of all my new friends and fellow TLG volunteers. Throughout the whole process, I had convinced myself that, in a way, I was above the effects of moving overseas. However, siting in the airport, I could no longer deny the doubts and fears facing me. I wrote as much as I could, admitted my concerns, and played cards.

Today, in a very different set of circumstances, I am sitting in the Istanbul airport writing in my journal (which is my computer since my journal is tucked away somewhere), gaining excitement about the prospect of being back in Georgia. I will admit that it is a strange feeling to have left the country and to be now going back to it instead of going home to the States. It seems that since I've left, I shouldn't be going back. I can’t help but thinking of Georgia as a means to the ends – flying home. In 5 months, I will be back here; if I make it through 5 months, I will be flying home.

I’m struck, though, by how different my frame of mind is after 4 months. I am no longer stressing out about the little details – getting to the hotel, finding our luggage, meeting people, being placed in a family, teaching classes. Instead, I am confident of where to catch the bus (#37) and where to get off (Avlabari station), and I have no concerns about getting my luggage. I am not worried about meeting people because I have a lovely set of friends in and around my village. Teaching is a constant concern, but I now know what to expect. No longer am I sitting in the airport with a general fear of the unknown; I know what I’m going back to, and I like it.

The more I think about it, the more I get excited about being back in the culture I've become accustomed to. I've spent so much effort learning the language, adapting to new situations, and becoming involved in my surroundings that I cannot imagine having left in December. I realize this post is a bit convoluted, but that's how I'm feeling; I miss my life in Georgia, but I miss my friends and family in the States. I'm looking forward to the next 5 months in Georgia, but I'm looking forward to the end of the next 5 months. And since this is my form of "journaling" today, those who are reading this get the pseudo-journal ramblings. I realize it's not as ...light-hearted...as it usually is; I promise I'll get back to my version of humor in my next post. Enjoy.